August Arrived

I don’t know what happened but August arrived, just a flip of the calendar and I couldn’t stop this feeling of wanting to cry. I’m kind of an emotional person, so to those who know me this isn’t the biggest of surprises but it was still there, just hanging around in my chest. So I Skyped home because that tends to help and my brother excitedly got hold of my mom’s phone and went, “Amielle, you’re home in 29 days. I know that because yesterday it was 30 and tomorrow it’s 28 but in 29 days you’ll be home,” and that helped but again it didn’t because all I wanted to do was run back to Madrid and board the next plane out and just be home already.

[about today]

Today was opening the mailbox and finding letters from my Grandma and my sister tucked safely inside, right on time for my birthday. It was watching Corner Gas and eating nachos with a friend I haven’t spent time with in what feels like forever. It was almost missing the bus but running the last block and catching it just as it was ready to pull away again and there’s something about getting on a bus that you really shouldn’t have made that just feels good. 

about swimming

The water isn’t as cold as I imagine it will be. I’ve been bracing myself since I walked into the change room for the bone chilling temperature that makes you wonder if this is even a good idea because don’t people get sick from cold water? The water might not be cold but the lanes are full and that’s not something I planned on. It takes me awhile before I’m comfortable, before I’ve stopped wondering if I’m taking up too much space or if they’re shaking their heads at how out of practice I am, how I’ve swallowed pool water instead of breathing twice now, stopping completely to snort chlorinated water out of my nose in a fashion I’m sure is considered ridiculously attractive and try to clear my head.

Hello, 2014 (part ii)

Even though I told myself (and you guys) that I’m keeping my resolutions to just words, I got to thinking how I wanted those words to look, how I wanted them to be turned into actions. So I made up this list of five (and a bonus sixth) ways that I’d like to see them reflected into my 2014. 

Hello, 2014 (part i)

Two years ago I decided to forgo making a list of resolutions and instead just stick to a word to help define my year.  My first year was ‘fearless’, last year’s was ‘determined’ , and this year I’m picking ‘proactive’.  Unlike my two previous words, this one took me a couple of weeks to settle on, even though there really weren’t any other contenders, it just felt too forward, too energetic, too much going forward and not enough calm to balance it out.  But, it also felt right because of that.